Serena's story
by LivElRocks a lot
Summary: This is a story about Olivia's mother before and after the day that changed her life.
1. Default Chapter

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

A/N this doesn't follow SVU that closely.

NYU, 1975, 5:PM

"Those thing's will kill you one of these day's." Serena said as her best friend Sarah lit another cigarette

"Sure okay, and one day a man with razor claw's will come and kill me in my dream's." Serena and her two friend's laughed at Sarah. They were enjoying the time they had before summer break. They had just finished the last of there collage finals before graduation. The four of them had been friend's since there child hood day's. There was Sarah who had an attitude on her that would kill a horse, Jamey was the athlete, Alex, or Flower child, was the biggest hippie in the entire school, and then there was Serena. The smartest, prettiest one of the group. She had been voted valedictorian of her Sr year. She had the perfect life. She was even dating the Quarterback of the football team. Sarah stood up from where she was sitting, flicked her cigarette, and stretched.

"Hey, there's a new movie playing at the movie theater. It's about some shark that eats people. It's called 'Jaws' I heard it it's really good, why don't we all go see it, my treat." Alex shook her head

"Man I would love to, but the pig's are trying to arrest some of my brother's and sister's again and I got to fight the power man." Amy smiled

"Alex you can fight the power later, this is a movie who where you can see people get eaten. How much better can a movie get? Besides the rest of us are going." Serena looked up from the book she was reading.

"Um actually, I'm going to hit the library." Sarah groaned

"Serena come on, your always at the library. Why don't you have some fun, Plus the finals are over. Why do you need to go to the library any way's?" Serena smiled at her friend.

"Please don't give me a hard time" she said smiling. Sarah groaned. Serena smiled again. For some reason when ever she smiled, people's heart's just melted, and no one ever yelled at her when she smiled also.

"fine, fine. But don't complain to me when you want to see a shark eat people and you couldn't."

"Bye you guy's" and with that Serena headed off toward's the library. It was only a few block's away so it didn't take long.

"Serena, it's nice to see you again. Mosts student's never even step foot in this place when the finals are over" the librarian Katey Lang said smiling at her favorite customer. Serena smiled at the middle age librarian.

"Well the finals may be over but we still have classes to study for."

"Well you can just take a seat over there and get out your book's." Serena smiled at her and went into the back room where student's were allowed to just sit and study. It was empty. Serena sat in her favorite bean bag, took out her book's and studied.

A few hour's later Katey came in to the back room.

"Serena it's closing time." Serena looked up from the book she was studying from and looked up.

"Oh sorry, I didn't realize I've been here so late. Sorry"

"It's okay. I know how you can get when you start reading. Your just totally un aware to the thing's around you. Serena's smiled and got up from her bean bag.

"Yeah, you know me too well. Well I think I should get going. Bye Katey."

"Bye Serena." Serena left the library and headed out in to the darkness. She walked a few feet before she looked behind her. For some strange reason, she felt very nervous.

"Come on Serena, you must have walked this exact same route one hundred time's" she thought to her self, but she still felt nervous. She walked a few more feet be fore she heard footstep's behind her

"Don't stop just keep walking, don't let him know you know he's there. Just keep walking" but she quickened her pace a little bit. She heard the foot step's also quicken. Serena again quickened her pace to a fast walk, again she heard the foot step's also quicken. Then she heard them getting faster and more quicker. Her anxiety was now through the roof. She took a few more step's before she started running. The stranger behind her also broke into a run. There was a small ally a few feet way away witch she knew if she could reach it, her friend's apartment was on the other side and she could call for help, but she wasn't the fastest runner. The stranger caught up with her and pushed her in to the alley. Serena tried to get up and run but she was pushed down again. The stranger got on top of her.

"Please don't kill me, I'll give you all the money I have. Her attacker smiled an evil smile at her.

"I don't want money, I want you." The man had tan skin and was tall and he had dark brown hair. He got out a pair of handcuffs and took one of Serena's hand's and hand cuffed her to a pole. The man made them as tight as they would go and she felt the circulation getting cut off from her hand's. The man ripped off her clothes and took off his clothes also.

"Please no!" Serena pleaded as he unzipped his pants.

"Shut up bitch!" and he hit her hard on the side of her face. Serena cried as he forcefully entered her. He pushed into, hard. Serena looked away from him crying.

"Look at me bitch!" then she felt another blow to her face. She looked at him and cried. It wasn't the pain or anything else that made her cry. It was his eye's. They were horrible and terrifying and they were chocolate brown in color. She wanted to rip them out of his head. She wanted to make him fell as much pain as he was making her feel right now. But she couldn't, because right now he was hurting her. Serena felt him relive himself in her.

"He didn't wear a condom" she thought to her self fear fully. He un locked the the hand cuff's and she felt the blood rush back to her hand's she knew there was going to be a scar there.

"Was it good for you." He laughed at her and then left. Serena curled up in a tiny ball and started to cry. She felt pain shearing through her. She closed her eye's but opened them with a start and a cry. When she closed her eye's she saw his eye's again, like before they were cold and unforgiving. She knew she would never forget his eye's.

Please review. Promise it Will get better.


	2. 2

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

She closed her eye's but opened them with a start and a cry. When she closed her eye's she saw his eye's again, like before they were cold and unforgiving. She knew she would never forget his eye's.

"Nooo!" Serena woke with a start. She had dreamed that he had raped her again, only this time he had brought a knife. She looked around in the dim sunlight. She guessed that it was about six in the morning. The memory's of that night came rushing back to her. She started to cry again as she saw his face again. She tried to stand up, but she was in pain. She used the wall of the ally for support. She took a step but fell down. She cried out as she hit the ground. It hurt her to stand up.

"I have to get help" she thought to herself. She looked down and saw her shirt, ripped. She looked around and tried to find her other clothes. She found her pants and pantie's but she couldn't find her bra. She painfully pulled on her pantie's and jean's but she didn't know what to do about her shirt.

"I'll have to cover up the best I can." She tried again to stand up, this time she managed it but it still hurt her. She used the wall for support and walked out of the ally. She fell again when she was out of the ally.

"Why is this happening to me!" she cried out. She felt tear's running down her face again. She used the building to help her up again. She closed her eye's and clenched her teeth in pain, and struggled to walk to the police station. She walked a few feet before she fell again. This time, she didn't even try to get up, she was just in to much pain. She stayed on the ground crying for a few moment's before she heard a voice.

"Oh my god Serena what happened to you!" She looked up to see her friend Amber in shock.

"Help me, please" Serena choked out. Her friend nodded and held out her hand for Serena to take. She grabbed her friend's hand and was lifted off of the ground.

"What happened to you?" Amber asked in concern.

"Please, just help me." Amber helped her to her car and helped her in the passenger seat.

"Where do you want me to take you?"

"The pantie precinct" Serena said through tear's. Amber looked at her friend in shock. Every one knew that the pantie precinct was the SVU squid room.

"Oh my god. Serena I'm so sorry." Amber moved to give her a hug but Serena moved toward's the door.

"Please, don't touch me" she said in a very shaky voice. Amber nodded her head and drove.

1-6 precinct

"Sorry I'm late." Frank Stabler came into the bull pen and quickly sat down at his desk next to his partner Donald Cragen.

"Well I've never thought I'd see the day when Frank Stabler came in late. You must have done something pretty exciting last night." John Munch said raising his eyebrow's. Frank smiled at him

"Well if you must know. I was finally able to go home early and spend some quality time with my wife. But must you ask about it. Remember he who has a dirty mind, has a dirty soul." Cragen sighed and put his head down. His partner was probably the best cop on the force but he was so religious that it some time got annoying.

"Yeah but I'm Jewish so that rule doesn't apply to me" John said looking over his dark sunglasses at him. Frank shook his head and started on paper work. Just then Don noticed two woman walk into the precinct. One of them had bright curly red hair and she was helping a blond woman walk. The blond woman was also holding up what looked like a t shirt up to cover herself. The blond woman had cut's and bruises over her. He motioned to his partner and pointed to the door. Frank turned around and saw the two woman.

"I'll go." Frank got up and went over to the two woman.

"Can I help you?' Frank asked in a gentle voice. Serena looked up and saw the man standing there. He was tall with short brown hair.

"I'm Amber and this is my friend Serena. She has something to tell you." Amber said in a truly sympathetic voice and looking over at her friend.

"I was, I was" but she couldn't get the word's out. Serena started crying again.

"It's okay, it will be okay." Frank reached out to hug her but Serena screamed loudly

"Nooo! Don't touch me!" Frank instantly backed away and Serena fell to the floor crying.

"Sweetie it's okay. He can't hurt you anymore" Amber said trying to comfort her friend, but Serena just stayed on the floor crying.

"He hurt me so bad." Serena said between the tear's.

"He can't hurt you anymore, just tell us what he did to you" Frank said gently, but still putting a distance in between himself and Serena so that she felt safe to be around him"

"He ra-ra-raped me" Serena said through tear's. Frank nodded his head gently.

"I need you to tell me what happened" he said gently lifting her head. Serena looked at his face. He had a kind and gentle face, with soft kind blue eye's.

"He's not like him, he's kinder, don't be scared" she reminded herself but Frank could see her shaking. He reached out to hug her again but this time she didn't pull away, she embraced it.

"It's going to be okay, I promise." Serena looked at him again and looked in his eye's, so full of warmth and caring.

"I need you to tell me what happened" he repeated softly, she nodded yes. Frank helped her up and they went in to the interrogation room.

"Do you want anything to drink, or maybe something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine" she said in a whisper. Whenever Serena would get upset or sad, she would start to talk in a whisper.

"Okay, why don't you tell me what happened" Frank said pushing the record button on the tape recorder. Serena took a shaky breath and began to tell what had happened to her.

"Please state your name for the record" Frank said in a professional manner.

"Serena Benson"

"and where do you live"

"Apartment 6F at NYU"

"Now can you please tell me what happened?" Serena took a shaky breath and began to tell what had happened to her.

"I was walking home from the library when-" She said barely above a whisper.

"You need to speak up sweetie"

"I was walking home from the library when I heard footstep's. I didn't turn around but I just kept walking. But I got nervous so I started walking faster. Then I heard his foot step's get faster. So I started walking faster, but he got faster too. Finally I just started running. But then he started running too. I saw an ally and my friend lived just past that ally, and I figured if I could just get through the ally then I could get help. But he was faster so he pushed me into the ally. I tried to get up and run but he pushed me down and got on top of me. He got out a pair of handcuffs and handcuffed me to a pole." She showed him the two red mark's on her wrist. He took a picture of her two wrist's and put them in a bag marked evidence.

"Then what happened." Serena had started crying now.

"He ripped off my clothes and ra- raped me. Then when I looked away he told me to look at him. Then after he was done, he un cuffed me and he said was it good for you, then he walked away." Serena was now crying heavily.

"Do you remember what he looked like?" Serena wiped her eye's and sniffed

"Yeah he was tall, tan, brown hair, and he had a sort of Arab accent. Not real heavy but if you listened closely then you could hear it."

"Did you see his eye's?" This was the part that Serena wanted to ignore. She hated those eye's, but if she wanted him off the street's then she would have to tell him everything, including the thing that scared her the most.

"Yes. They were cold, horrible, terrifying, and they were chocolate brown. I hated them." She had stopped crying, now she had just shut down. Frank turned off the tape recorder and sighed. He hated this, she was such a sweet girl.

"Thank you Miss Benson, do you want to go to the hospital now?" Serena shock her head

"no, I just want to go home."

"Are you sure Miss Benson?"

"Yes."

"All right do you have someone who can stay with you for a few day's?"

"Yes my." Suddenly her face fell

"Oh no, how am I going to tell my parent's, or my boyfriend for that matter. Oh god why did this have to happen to me." Serena started crying again. Frank got up and gave her another hug.

"It's okay, your going to be okay. I promise you I'm going to get this guy." Frank and Serena stayed like that for a few more minute's, and all through that time, Serena just cried.

Please review. Next Chapter coming soon.


	3. 3

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

Thanks for all the reviews:) and by the way "justawritier" I will have Olivia in this, but you'll have to wait a few more chapter's. But she will be in this:)

"All right do you have someone who can stay with you for a few day's?"

"Yes my." Suddenly her face fell

"Oh no, how am I going to tell my parent's, or my boyfriend for that matter. Oh god why did this have to happen to me." Serena started crying again. Frank got up and gave her another hug.

"It's okay, your going to be okay. I promise you I'm going to get this guy." Frank and Serena stayed like that for a few more minute's, and all through that time, Serena just cried.

Two hour's later

"We are done." Frank put down his pen and sighed. Serena just looked down.

"Can I get a ride home?" she asked timidly. Frank smiled a small smile

"sure." He helped her out of the chair and helped her to the door.

"Wait here" Frank said then disappearing outside. Serena sat down in the chair again. It still hurt her to stand. She looked around the tiny interrogation room.

"They keep criminal's in here. That's where he'll be one day" she thought to herself

"but what if he doesn't catch him, what if he goes free?" Serena felt herself crying again, but this time she wiped away the tear's.

"I'm not going to cry, I'm not doing to cry" but she couldn't help it. A tear slowly slid down her face, then another one then another one. She tried to wipe them away but finally she just let them come. Frank came in a few seconds later with a NYPD sweat shirt in his hand. Serena looked over at him and he saw that she was caring.

"Oh, Serena. It's going to be okay." He went over to her and gave her another hug.

"What if you never catch him?"

"I will. I promise you on my life that I will catch the man that did this to you." They hugged for a few more seconds then they let go. Serena didn't know how or when, but she knew that some how, she and this man will eventually become part of each other's life's. She didn't know how, but she knew.

"Come on I'll give you a ride home." Frank helped her out of the chair and into the car. He got in the driver's side and looked at her.

"Where do you want me to take you?"

"My boyfriend's. He lives on fifty second street, apartment 16C." Frank nodded his head and drove off. They rode together in complete silence until they got to her boyfriend's house. Do you want me to come in with you?" Frank asked gently

"No I'm fine. Thanks." And with that Serena got out of the car and went into the building.

"Why do the bastards always have to get the kind one's?" he thought to himself as he watch Serena walk into the building

"Well, god has a plan for every one, so this must be hers." He sighed heavily then drove off. Inside the building Serena rode the elevator to the third floor and when she got to her boyfriend's apartment, she just stood out side and waited.

"Come on Serena, you can do this. Just go in there and tell him what happened" she thought to herself. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A man in his early twenty's opened the door. His face let up when he saw Serena.

"Hey Rena, what are you doing here? Aren't you usually in classes this time of day?" Serena put on a small smile.

"Hi James, can I come in?"

"Oh yeah sure. Bye the way what happened to you?" he said as he let Serena come in the door. Serena smile instantly disappeared.

"James, um we need to talk." His face fell.

"Why what's going on?"

"I think you should sit down." Jame's moved to his green couch and sat down ans Serena joined him.

"What I'm about to tell you may be hard to understand but"

"Serena what's going on?" he asked in concern. Serena knew that tear's were going to come any second so she figured she might as well get it over with.

"Okay well last night, I was walking home from the library and um" she took a deep breath before continuing

"and I heard some one following me so I sped up but then he sped up to. So finally I just started running but he started running too and he pushed me into an ally and he got on top of me and he um, he raped me." Serena felt the tear's running down he face. She tried to read him, but he was good at hiding his emotion's so she couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"wait, what did you say?"

"He raped me. God I was so scared." She moved into hug him but he got up from the couch.

"How the hell could you do this to me Serena?" Serena was shocked. She don't expect him to react this way

"What do you mean , what I did to you. I didn't do anything. I was ra- raped." James glared at her.

"Yeah sure, you probably wanted it to happen, you probably didn't even fight back. How could you be such a bitch to me."

"I did fight back!" she yelled at him and getting off the couch

"Well obviously, not hard enough. I thought you loved me."

"I do love you. But this wasn't my fault"

"Yes it was, don't deny it. You probably were dressed in some skimpy little outfit and you probably were asking for it. I can't believe you."

"I wasn't asking for it. I hated it, he hurt me so bad, why can't you see that!" she screamed at him. James glared at her again

"All I see is a little lying bitch" and with that he grabbed Serena by the wrist and dragged her to the door.

"No, please let me go!" she screamed at him trying to get out of his grip, but he was a lot stronger then her

"oh now you say no, couldn't say it before could you?" When he got to the door he opened it and tossed her out.

"I don't ever want to see your whoring face around here again?" and he slammed the door. Serena lied in the hall way crying for a few minute's before she got up. She limped to the elevator and pressed the down button.

" He's right I should have fought harder. I deserved what I got" she thought to herself. She cried all the way down.

Please Review.


	4. 4

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

thank you all again for all the reviews. And yes Bite Beccy you can kick his butt:)

"I don't ever want to see your whoring face around here again!" and he slammed the door. Serena lied in the hall way crying for a few minute's before she got up. She limped to the elevator and pressed the down button.

" He's right I should have fought harder. I deserved what I got" she thought to herself. She cried all the way down. She stepped off the elevator and limped to the door.

"Taxi" she yelled through her tear's. A cab pulled up and she got in

"NYU collage please" she said with tear's rolling down her face.

"Sure, are you okay?" the cab driver asked in concern.

"I'm fine just drive!" she yelled at him.

"Okay fine, just trying to help, sheesh. People from this city really do have attitude's." Serena suddenly felt bad. She had never yelled at anyone before, and she wasn't about to start.

"I'm sorry, it's just, I had a rough night." The driver smiled sympathetically at her.

"I understand" and with that he drove off. When he pulled up to the collage, Serena got out.

"That's nineteen eighty five." Serena dug in her wallet and pulled out a twenty

"keep the change" and she turned to walk away.

"Hey" he cried out and she walked back to the cab.

"Whatever making you this upset. I'm sure you'll be okay." He smiled at her then drove off. She looked after him.

"If you only knew what was making me upset, then I'm sure you wouldn't be telling me that I'll be okay." she sighed, wiped her tear's and made her way into the collage. The hall way's were empty

"every one must be in classes." She considered going to hers but then she thought

"I had such a rough night. I should try to get a few hour's of sleep." She got to her dorm room and opened the door.

"Oh Serena , were are so sorry, we heard what happened." Inside her room, Alex, Jamiy, and Sarah were all sitting on her bed waiting for her. Sarah looked like she had been crying.

"How did you find out what happened?" Serena asked

"Amber called us and told us what happened. I feel so bad for you." Sarah got off her bed to give Serena a hug, but Serena backed away.

"You feel bad for me? you feel bad for me? I don't need your sympathy Sarah!" Serena yelled at Sarah. Sarah looked at her in concern.

"Serena calm down. I'm not trying to-"

"Calm down! You try to calm down after you just raped, beaten, handcuffed, had to sleep in a cold ally all night, and had to feel the pain that I had to endure! After you lived through that you try to calm the fuck down!" Sarah's eye's got wide. She never heard Serena so much as raise her voice to, well anyone, and now here she was, screaming at her best friend.

" Serena will you stop yelling at me. I'm just trying to help you" Serena glared at her

"You can't help me! unless you can turn back the clock, you can't help me one fucking bit! Plus I don't need your god damn help!" Serena felt tear's forming in her eye's. She had never yelled at anyone in her entire life. Now she had screamed at two people in the last half hour, including her best friend. Sarah also felt herself getting tear's in her eye's

"Please Serena stop yelling. This isn't like you."

"Let me give you a small clue Sarah, I can fucking yell at who and when ever I fell like! So don't tell me to stop anything, because if he didn't I don't have to! Now get the fuck out of my room now!" Alex and Jamiy just stood there with mouth's open and eye's wide. They also had never seen Serena yell at anyone. Especially at Sarah. In fact the only time they had seen Serena and Sarah fight was when they were kid's and argued over who liked who better. Sarah got tear's in her eye's. The two friend's looked at each other for a second before Sarah whispered.

"Come on guys, let's go." Alex and Jamiy got up and walked out the door. Sarah followed, but she looked at the Serena for a second before closing the door. Serena sat on the bed and took a deep breath. She tried not to cry but her emotion's got the best of her. After a few minute's of crying, she thought about calling Sarah, to say how sorry she was for treating her like that. But instead all she said was

"I need a drink." She changed her clothes, witch detective Stabler had given her, and got dressed in her own clothes. She went out of her room and walked to the parking lot. She got in her car, turned it on, and drove off. She tuned the radio to her favorite station and turned it up high.

"And that was 'Rhinestone Cowboy' by Glen Campbell. Now for all you couple's out there 'Love Will Keep Us Together' by Captain & Tennille." Serena almost started crying again. This was hers and James song. The two of them had even made up a dance to it. Every one made fun of them when they would dance but they didn't care.

"There all just jealous because they don't have a girl as pretty as you to dance with it too."

_Love, Love will keep us together _

_Think of me babe whenever _

_Some sweet talking guy comes along singing his song _

_Don't mess around, _

_You got to be strong _

_Just Stop, 'cause I really love You _

_Stop, I'll be thinking of you _

_Look in my heart and let love keep us together _

_You, You belong to me now _

_Ain't gonna set you free now _

_When those guys start hanging around talking me down _

_Hear with your heart and you won't hear a sound _

_Just Stop, 'cause I really love you _

_Stop, I'll be thinking of you _

_Look in my heart and let love keep us together _

_Whatever young and beautiful _

_Someday your looks will be gone _

_When the others turn you off _

_Who'll be turning you on _

_I will, I will, I will, I will _

_Be there to share forever _

_Love will keep us together _

_Said it before and I'll say it again while others pretend _

_I'll need you now and I'll need you then _

_Stop 'cause I really love Ya _

_Stop I'll be thinking of Ya _

_Look in my heart and let love keep us together._

Serena started crying.

"I'll never be able to dance this song with him again. Why didn't I fight back harder, this is all my fault" But she couldn't cry for long, because she was now at the bar. She was nervous. She had never actually been inside a bar before. She had drinks before, but only on St Patrick's day and New year's eve, and even then she still drank very little. But she need the alcohol, to get her mind off of this day."Besides, it's not like I'm going to turn into some kind of alcoholic with just a few drinks" she reminded herself. She took a deep breath, wiped away her tear's, and walked inside.

Please review._  
_


	5. 5

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

Spoiler's from Stalked

She took a deep breath, wiped away her tear's, and walked inside. When she got in the bar she looked around.

"It's not so bad here." She had pictured something like a small, crowded, dirty building, filled with biker's and hooker's. But really it was just ordinary people sitting, laughing, and having a good time. Some of them were even in suit's. Serena took a deep breath and sat down at one of the bar stool's, and put her head down. She felt embarrassed that she was in a bar

"Why are you so nervous? Every one comes here to enjoy themselves and to get rid of there pain, why shouldn't I be able to?"

"Excuse me, do you have some ID?" someone asked politely. Serena looked up and saw a man about in his late thirty's Early forties behind the counter.

"Must be the bartender. He looks decent enough." Serena thought to herself.

"But what if he wants to do what the guy did to me?" she thought to herself fearfully. She considered running from this place and not looking back, but before she got up , she stopped herself.

"No! You have to learn that not everyone is not your rapeis-, er the guy that did this to you." Serena couldn't bring herself to say she was raped. And by saying that she had a rapist made it even more real.

"Excuse me miss, do you have ID with you?" the bartender asked again. Serena eyed him carefully, then got out her wallet and showed him her driver's license." The bartender took it and looked at it carefully before he returned it to her.

"Okay miss Benson, what can I get you?"

"A beer, in a bottle please." The bartender smiled at her then got her a drink.

"Here you go. That will be a dollar nineteen please." Serena dug around in her purse until she pulled out two dollar bill's

"here you go, keep the change." Serena took off the top of her beer and took a little sip then put it down

"Not that bad." Serena picked up her drink and took a longer drink.

"I haven't seen you in before. Just come in to town?" the bartender asked politely. Serena looked at him nervously.

"Why the hell does this guy want to know if I'm new to this town. Don't worry, he probably says it to everyone new that walks through the door's." Serena took another drink of her beer before talking.

"Uh no actually, I've lived in Manhattan all my life. I've just never been in this bar or, well any bar for that matter." The bartender smiled at her

"This is your first time in a bar? Hell, I think that deserves a free drink." Serena smiled at him.

"Wow, I wonder if all bartender's are this nice" Serena thought to herself

"Uh, sure that would be great" Serena said smiling for the first time all day. The bartender smiled at her again.

"Just tell me when you want another one, and it's on the house." Serena smiled at him again and started to drink her beer again until a man came up behind her.

"First time in a bar huh, well you know what they say, the most timid on the outside, is wildest in the inside if you catch my drift." Serena turned around to see who had spoken to her, When she turned around, she saw a guy about her age, with dark brown hair and light green eye's, and a small neatly combed beard

"Who are you?" the man smiled at her and sat down next to her.

"Name's Richard White, and you are?" Serena didn't really want to say or give out any information about herself to a complete stranger.

"Serena" she scolded herself "you have to get back to trusting people." But did that involve stranger's too? "Yes, it did."

"My name's Serena, Serena Benson." She held out her hand so that the guy could shake it, but instead he just snickered.

"Serena Benson huh, damn that's a sexy name. Well that would make sense, a sexy name for a sexy girl" Richard said looking her up and down. Serena suddenly felt nervous again.

"Oh no, just calm down, he won't try anything with all these witnesses, just tell him to go away, and every thing will be alright" but she still felt very nervous.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but could you maybe, go back over there. your just making me a little nervous." Richard's eye's flashed anger in them, but they quickly softened again.

"Oh baby, I live to make woman nervous." Richard grabbed Serena's wrist and Serena tried to pull away, but he pressed up against her. The memory's from last night came flooding back to her. Serena felt like she was being raped again.

"NO!" she screamed as loud as she could

"Not again, please!" Richard let go of her and backed away.

"Your fucking crazy!" and with that, he ran out of the bar. Serena sank down to the floor, not even caring that every one was watching her. she started to cry again. The bartender came around to help her. But when he tried to help her up, she screamed again.

"Please stop! Not again, not again, please!" The bartender backed away quietly, and told every one that the bar was now closed for the next half hour. Serena didn't even look up when every one filed out, grumbling about having there happy hour cut short. When Serena and the bartender was alone, the bartender tried to help her up again.

"Please don't touch me." The bartender nodded quietly and went in to the back room, leaving Serena to cry and cry. A few minute's later, Serena stopped crying and got up. She went back to her seat, and let the rest of the tear's flow down her face. The bartender came out of the back room, and went behind the counter again.

"I think I'll take that free drink now."

"Sure" the bartender said smiling.

"Do you want to tell me why you were screaming bloody murder a few minute's ago?" Serena looked at him, still letting the tear's flow down her face.

"I'd really like to not talk about it." The bartender smiled, politely, and went to go get her a new drink, seeing as Serena had are ready polished off the one he had just given her.

"So what's your name" Serena asked, are ready feeling a tiny bit woozy.

" My name's Lennie, Lennie Briscoe."

Please review.


	6. 6

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

"I'd really like to not talk about it." The bartender smiled sympathetically, and went to go get her a new drink, seeing as Serena had are ready polished off the one he had just given her.

"So what's your name" Serena asked, are ready feeling a tiny bit woozy.

" My name's Lennie, Lennie Briscoe." Serena looked at him and tried to think

"where do I know him from" she thought to himself.

"Do I know you from some where?" she asked drinking her knew beer.

"Um I don't think so" Serena thought for a moment then she remembered.

"Your that detective. That homicide guy. Your the one that solved all those murder's in Seventy three. But what are you doing bar tending?" she said taking another drink from her beer. Lennie smiled at her and took a long drink from a bottle next to him

"in collage, I had to take an extra course along with criminal justice, so I chose bar tending. It wasn't that long a class, only half a semester. But now my friend bar tends here, and when he can't work for a few hours, I fill in for him. I may have to give it up though"

"why" Serena asked chugging down the rest of her beer. Lennie smiled and put another beer down in front of her.

"Because. There's been some time's, well a lot of times, where I have gotten a little too much to drink working behind the counter" and with that he finished off his beer and threw it away

"so what your story. I don't mean to be rude but, why on earth why were you screaming bloody murder a few minutes ago?" Serena glared, or tried to and drank the beer that she had just got empty

"why the hell should I tell you" she said trying to stand up and almost falling. She had at least five beers in the last half hour, and this was her first time drinking a lot. So they were all going straight to her head.

"I mean, can't a girl scream if she wants to without having some pig question her about it" she slurred angrily. She tried to turn around but fell. Lennie rushed over tot help her but she pushed him away

"don't you fucking touch me! I don't want to go through it again! just get away from me!" and with that, she ran out of the bar. She could faintly hear the detective calling her but she was to drunk to notice it. She stumbled onto the side walk and looked around

"wow, New York city looks really different when your drunk" she thought to herself. She was about to get in her car when Lennie came running out.

"Wait please! You don't have to tell me what's wrong. But please let me drive you home." Serena looked over this guy

"he just met me, and he wants to give me a ride home"

"I'm am fine to drove myself home' she said as she wobbled back and forth.(A/N I know it says drove. I just want to make her seem more drunk) Lennie shock his head

"no your not. If you want I can call you a cab and follow your car home with it. But your not driving any car tonight. And if you do, I'll arrest you for DWI." Serena glared at him then tossed him the key's, and missed him by a few feet. Lennie went and got the keys and sat in the drivers seat. Serena reluctantly got in the passenger side.

"so where do you live?" he asked starting the car and turning off the radio

"the nearest bar" she said trying to turn on the radio and missing the knob. Lennie shook her head and drove. They both sat in silence until they got to another bar called Magills. Serena opened the door and stumbled out. Lennie also got out and walked her inside. When they got inside, the whole place was covered with cops. Serena's eye's got wide and then angrily turned toward's Lennie

"this isn't fair, you brought me to a god damn cop bar!" she whispered angrily" Lennie smirked, apparently pleased with himself and sat down. Serena angrily looked at him and sat down next to him,

"hey Lennie, whats going on!" a middle aged man said to him. Lennie smiled and shock the guys hand.

" Detective, Goren, how you doing" he said moving over a seat so that the man could sit next to him

"I'm good"

"and how's Bobby doing" he said ordering a drink for him and the man.

"He's fine. God, I can't believe it eleven years old. Seems like the years just flew by. And um, who's this little number?" the detective asked looking at Serena. Lennie looked over at Serena, who had are ready ordered her second drink.

"Um, truth be told, I really don't know"

"Hey sweet heart whats your name" the detective said smiling a sly smile. Serena looked at him

"Serena Benson" she said chugging down her the rest of her drink and ordering a third one.

"Damn Lennie, finally gotta a girl who can drink as much as you" he said looking at Serena who had just drank half her beer in a few gulps. The detective finished his drink and got up.

"Well if I stay here any longer, I'm going to get bitched at, again by my wife. So I think I should go. Nice talking to you Lennie." Detective Goren pulled a ten out of his pocket and sat it down on the table and walked out. Serena looked as he went out then glared at Lennie

"you didn't give him any shit about driving" she said angrily

"yeah because he's a cop, so I'll trust him to make the right decision."

"Yeah like cops make the right choice's" she whispered softly. But right then, she saw the detective hail a cab and step in it. Lennie smirked and she glared angrily then downed the rest of her drink.

"You know you god damn pigs are all the same" she yelled out. Just then a silence fell over the bar and they all looked at Serena

" um, I really think that you should shut up now, he whispered to her, but Serena just stood up and held on to the bar stool so she wouldn't fall.

"No it's true. All of you cops think that everyone is less smart then you and that you only make the right decisions! But I got news for all you all. Pigs can't make decisions period!" she yelled out looking around the room at the now silent cops. She normally never would have said something like this, and she usually scolded Alex for when she said stuff about cops, but right now she was so drunk. she was going to say whatever she felt like.

"I really think that you should sit down" Lennie begged her.

"no. If you think that I'm going to listen to an oink you say, then you all are fucking crazy!" and with that she fell unconscious and fell on the floor. A silent murmur ran though the bar as Lennie ran through a hand through his hair and sighed. He picked her up and managed to get a five out of his pocket and threw it on the bar table

"keep the change he mumbled as he walked out of the bar. He carried her to her car and sat her down in the back seat. He considered looking for I.D on her, but then he thought

"if she wakes up when I'm searching her, she will kill me." He shut the back door and got in the front and started the car again. He considered turning on the radio, but thought better of it.

"It might wake her up." He drove the rest of the way in silence to his apartment where he carried her to his bedroom and took off her shoes and socks but that was it. He turned off the light and went out to the closet and got a blanket and pillow and then he went out to the couch and laid down and put his ands behind his head

"this was a long day."

Please review

A/N I'm only 15 so I don't know if you can have 7 drinks and pass out so if you can't then sorry.


	7. 7

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

"Please, stop!" Serena yelled at the man attacking her. He just smiled at her and hit her again

"why are you doing this?" she asked through her tears. The man just scoffed at her and moved faster inside her

"because I can. And I can also do this." He pulled a knife out of his pocket and showed it to Serena

"bye sexy" he said and bringing it down.

"Nooo!" she yelled at the top of her lungs as he stabbed her with the knife.

"Hey wake up!" Serena woke up with a start and looked around. She was in a bedroom, and a middle aged man was standing over her looking concerned.

"I heard you screaming, so I came in to check on you. Are you okay?" he asked in concern Sernea looked at him in confuseion, then around the room.

"Who are you, where am I, and whats going on? Ow my head hurts" she asked looking around and putting her hand on her head.

"you don't remember what happened?"

"no, where the hell am I, what happened last night?" Lennie smiled at her.

"Well, last night. You came into my bar, ordered a drink, yelled bloody murder when a guy hit on you. Then you ordered a few more drinks and tried to drive home. But I told you no, and drove you to the nearest bar, witch was a cop bar and you got incredibly drunk and told all the cops in there that there idiots and then you fell unconscious. And then I drove you home." Serena looked at him in confusing for a moment, then back toward's the bed.

"We didn't, um do anything right?" she said hopefully. Lennie smiled at her then shook his head.

"No, but you sure can drink a lot for a girl that never has alcohol before." Serena glared at him then put her hand on her head

"Ow my head hurts. At what point did I slam my head on a brick wall over and over." Lennie smiled and rolled his eyes

"welcome to the wonderful word of hangovers. here, this should help a little bit" he said handing her an aspirin and a glass of water. Serena looked at it, then back toward's Lennie, then back toward's the aspirin

"um, I think I'll take some when I get home. What time is it anyway" she said closing her eyes and rubbing her temple.

"Um, nine thirty" he said looking at his watch. Serena bolted up and looked at him in wide eyes

"nine thirty? no it can't be that late, I have classes at seven. I can't be two and a half hours late for school. I have a huge English test coming up at ten!" she said jumping out of the bed, but Lennie stopped her.

"Wait, wait, wait. You can't take a final like that, you've got a majorhangover, you'll flunk it. Now why don't you let me make you breakfast, and then I'll drive you to school."

"No, you don't understand. My teacher will kill me if I'm late"

"and if he does, I'll be the one investagating it, and I'll know who did it. Now, just relax, and calm down. And I'll make you some breakfast, and you can get ready."

But I-

"no, no, no. Calm down and get ready" and with that, he walked out.

"Whoa, what the hell just happened. Did I just agree to have breakfast with a guy I don't even know two days after my ra-, er, accident?" she stood there confused, but finally went into the kitchen where Lennie was cooking what looked like eggs in a pan.

"Hey, you like scrambled, or fried? oh well, can't make either, so you wanna drink or something? oh and the bathroom is on the first door on the left." Serena just stood there in shock.

"You just met me, how the hell can you be this trusting?"

"I'm a cop, so I can read people easily, and you look like a girl I'm willing to trust, thats only if you tell me whats wrong" he said looking at her sternly. Serena looked down at the floor pushed a lock of hair out of her face

'nothings wrong" she said almost in a whisper. Lennie shook his head and got out two plates from the cupboard

"didn't you just hear me? I said I'm a cop. I know when some thing is wrong with some one. And when a nineteen year old girl" he said adding that last part with a half glare. Serena looked at him and then back down toward's the floor

"your the one who served it to me" she said in a mumble. Lennie rolled his eyes and sighed

"anyways, when a girl, that never before even had a shot of vodka, comes in to a bar and gets flat off her ass drunk, and scream as loud as she can when some guy hits on her, I think theres something wrong with her." Serena looked at him again then suddenly found a spot on the floor to be very interesting.

"Nothings wrong with me" she said in a whisper. Lennie looked at her with a stern look

"Are you deaf or something. I just told you all the reasons why I know whats wrong with you, and you just up and tell me nothings wrong. Sorry, but I think thats a bunch of bull."

"I said nothings wrong with me. So drop it"

"no"

"yes"

"no"

"yes"

"no." Serena glared at him and he just looked at her in his best cop face

"why the hell is it so important that you need to know whats wrong with my life? You don't even know me"

"so you do have a problem." Serena groaned and walked toward's the door

"where are you going?" he asked following her

"what the hell does it matter to you?" she said looking for her coat.

"Because I want to help you"

"no one can help me" she said starting to get tears in her eyes.

"I can, if you tell me whats wrong."

"Why the hell do you even care. I know, because you want to help me, but I don't know you and you don't know me. And frankly I don't want to get help, so just drop it!" Serena felt tears roll down her face and she quickly wiped them away. Lennie looked at her and felt his eyes filling up with tears

"Please, tell me what happened. I want to help you." Serena glared at him and threw her hands in the air

"you really want to know whats fucking wrong? fine. Two nights ago I was raped in an alley. Okay there. I fucking told you what happened and you can't help! so fuck you Mr cop, and good bye!" And with that, Serena stormed out of the apartment, leaving Lennie looking after her.

"God damn ass hole. Thinks just because hes a cop, he can help any one and every body, no matter what the hell is wrong. Jack ass probably isn't even a real cop. Its probably just some freak, thinking he is one" she thought to her self angrily as she rode down the elevator. She paced around for a few seconds before she took a deep breath, "come on Serena, breathe, just calm down and breathe. In, out good." She took another deep breath and began to walk away, when she remembered something

"where the hell is my car?" she said looking around.

"Oh shit, okay, just try and remember what happened last night." She strained to think of something, but she couldn't remember

"oh where the hell is my car!" she yelled loudly. Several people on the street stopped to look at her, then walked away whispering something about her.

"Okay, okay. Calm down Serena, just think, what was the last thing you remember. Wait! that freaky cop guy said he drove me to a bar, so that must mean, my car is still at the bar!" She hailed a cab and got in

"Melonie's bar please" she said looking in her purse to see if she would have enough money to have him drive her there

"sure" the driver said in a thick Spanish accent and began to drive off. It only took a few minutes to get there, and when they were there the driver turned around to look at her

"Thats nineteen eighty five please." Serena dug around in her purse before grabbing a few bills.

"keep the cha-" she started to say keep the change, but then he noticed some thing about him. He had tan skin, dark brown hair, and chocolate brown eyes.

"Oh my god" she said out loud and slowly exited the cab

"whats the matter?"

"please, stay away from me" she said backing away from him

"hey you still owe me my money!" he said also getting out of the cab

"stay the fuck away from me!" she screamed loudly running from him.

"Hey come back here!" He considered running after her, but then reconsidered it, seeing as how sevril people were staring at him strangly.

"Usted jodiendo a ramera!" he shouted loudly at her. Then he shock his head, got back in his cab, and drove off. Serena didn't look back. She just kept running, not even aware that she had just caused a big scene. She ran until she ran in to another man, who also had brown hair and brown eyes

"hey watch where you going" he said looking at her in disgust, whale Serena looked at in in terror

"its you, its you!" she screamed at him. The man just looked at her in confusion

"what are you talking about?" he asked angrily, but Serena just continued to look at him in horror.

"I said what the hell are you talking about?" he said even more angrily then before. Serena just let out a sob and started to run. She looked around her franticly, and started to cry.

"He's every where. He's every where!" she thought horribly to her self. Every man she could see looked liked him. Either he had his eye's, or his hair, or his skin color. They all almost just seemed to be staring at her Serena looked around franticly and then screamed as loud as she could and fell on her knees. She screamed loudly again, before she got dizzy. she felt like the world was spinning. She couldn't take it any more, so she closed her eyes and then fell unconscious

Please Review.

A/N: "Usted jodiendo a ramera" means "You fucking bitch" in Spanish


	8. 8

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

This chapter is dedicated to my favorite girls in the world: Alee, Jill, Ellen, Steph, Sondra, Faith, and yes, you too Jenn:) There the best friends a girl could ask for, and I hope ya'll can survive with out me in the school, and remember your promises, and I'll never forget any of you, and I love you all so much. Give Uhlge hell for me:)

Serena groaned as she woke up and looked around the small room.

"Where am I?' she said put loud

"your in the hospital" a kind voice said to her. Serena jumped a little bit in her bed before she turned to look at who the voice belonged to.

"Who are you?" she asked eying the woman. She was about in her thirty's with short brown hair and bright blue eyes and a kind, inviting smile.

"I'm a rape crisis concealer. My name is Christina Ambrose" she said smiling at her. Serena eyed her and then looked around the hospital room.

"what am I doing in a hospital room?" she said looking at her again.

"You fell unconscious in the street after screaming 'he's everywhere.' Some one called the police and you've been asleep for about twelve hours" Christina said after pushing a lock of blond hair from Serena's face. Serena looked confused for a moment then her eyes got wide as she remembered something.

"Oh my god! please, you have to get him. Hes out there, I saw him! He has brown hair, and he's really tall, and he has an Arab acc-"

"Calm down Serena. You didn't see him, you just think you did" Christina said softly. Serena glared at her for a moment

" how the hell do you know what I saw? It was my rapes- er attacker out there on the streets, and I saw him!" she said trying to get out of the bed, but Christina gently laid a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"I know what you sawbecause, I've been a counselor for nine years now, and I know that you didn't see him. You just thought you did. And for a while, you'll think every man is your attacker. But give it time." Serena just looked at her with a shocked and angry look on her face.

"Are you hearing me? The man that caused this is out there on the streets right now, and you are dong nothing!" she said angrily. Christina offered her a small smile, and was about to say some thing before she was interrupted.

"Who the hell called you any way?"

"I did" Lennie said standing in the door way. Serena rolled her eyes.

"How the hell did you find me?" she demanded. Lennie went over toward's the bed and sat down next to her

"After you ran out of my apartment, I realized that you forgot your purse, and I followed you out, but I couldn't see you, so I started to go back inside, before I heard you screaming, he's every where. So I started running toward's you, when I heard some yell fainted, and I saw you, and then I saw you on the ground, and um, thats it." Serena glared at him again, and ran her hands through her long blond hair.

"why the hell are you here" she demanded crossing her arms.

"I wanted to tell you, I'm sorry for pushing you. Your right, I shouldn't have made you tell me if you didn't want to. But you needed help." Serena rolled her eyes and tried to get out of the bed, but Christina gently pushed her back in her bed

"Serena, you need to rest. Please just get back in the bed." Serena glared at her again

"Will you just shut up" she yelled at her

"your starting to piss me off. Now, if you to don't mind, I would like to get going." She got up again and Christina let her go, but she was stopped by a girl with light blond hair and bright blue eyes and who looked like she was about six months pregnent..

"Hi Serena, I'm Doctor Tina Cabot. Please get back into bed." Serena rubbed her temple and sighed.

"Look, I'm not getting back into bed, I'm not going to tell any one whats wrong, and I don't need to talk to some bitch, who's just going to say, oh its okay, and its not your fault. Okay, so will all of you just leave me alone, and stay out of my life!" And with that, she pushed the doctor out of the way, and ran into Sarah right outside.

"Hey" Sarah said as Serena collided with her. Serena rolled her eyes at her

"what do you want" she said rather snippy. Sarah took a step back, hurt

"you put me down as your emergency contact number. They called me and told me you were in the hospital, what ever I did, I'm sorry." Serena's face softened.

"No, no, its ok. I'm sorry, I just, I had a rough day." Serena offered her friend a small smile, and they started to walk out before Sarah stopped.

"Um, did the doctors say you could go?"

"no, but I'm over eighteen, so I choose if I want to stay or not. And I want to go" and then they started walking to the parking lot.

"you um, you brought your car?" Serena asked her looking a little embarrassed. Sarah had a convertible, that was painted at least fifteen different colors, had a fuzzy pink and black steering wheel, a big pair of fuzzy dice in the windshield, and bright green and orange seats. All of her friends hated to ride in it, but Sarah loved it like her own child.

"Whats wrong with my baby?" Sarah asked defensively.

"nothing, but its, um. Well its, uh"

"trust me, one day, this kind of car will be in everyones garage" Sarah said wiping the side mirrors with her shirt.

"Yeah and disco will go out of style" Serena said rolling her eyes. Sarah just shrugged and got in the drivers side. Serena got in the passenger side and turned on the radio.

"oh Serena, guess what I got" Sarah said in a sing song voice.

"What" Serena said trying to find a good station

" the Monty Python and the Holy Grail movie" she said taking the movie out of a small bag. Serena's eyes lit up and she smiled at Sarah

"oh my god! I wanted to see this movie for like ever! you totally rock!" she said hugging her. Serena was one of the biggest fans of the Monty Python series, and she wanted to see the movie when it came out, but she was too busy studying.

"Your welcome" Sarah said hugging her back. they drove for a while before Serena remembered something.

"Sarah, we need to stop at at the bar called Magill's. My cars there" Sarah looked over at Serena with surprised eyes

"why the hell is your car at a cops bar?"

"I went out last night to get some drinks, and I ended up at a cop bar."

"Wow, I don't even think I've even seen you take so much as a shot"

"well maybe I decided to become an alcoholic, is that okay with you?" she said angrily and sarcastically. Sarah looked at her and glared

"sorry! I'm just surprised that you went to a bar. Is that okay with you?" Serena glared at her

"hey fuck you Sarah! You think your such hot shit just because you have an attitude. Well I got news for you, your a little wannabe."

"What the fuck is your problem Serena, I was just trying to help!"

"I don't need any help from some god damn little cunt like you!" Sarah glared at her, then pulled over.

"What the hell are you doing!" Serena yelled at her

"look, I know that your going through a lot of shit right now. But you need to calm the fuck down." Serena glared at her then got out of the car and started to walk away.

"Where are you going? Serena come back here" Sarah said getting out of the car and following her.

"to get away from you" Serena shot back at her

"please come back, I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you, but yo were being a bitch to me." Sarah whipped around and stormed up to her.

"Yeah I was being a bitch, but you want to know why? Because I was raped! Okay, I was handcuffed to a poll, and some guy beat and raped me, and I'm scared he might come back and do it again! So forgive me if I may seem a little bit pissed off." Serena started to get tears in her eyes and Sarah just stood there.

"Oh sweetie, come here" she said pulling Serena into a hug. Serena hugged her back and Sarah also started crying.

"It'll be okay"

"no it won't. It's all my fault and I'm taking it out on the people I love" Serena said through the tears

"no its not, its not your fault. Its the ass hole's faultthat couldn't get any, so he had to force it out of some sweet, kind, beautiful girl. But it is not your fault."

"I could have done something to stop it, but I just let him do it. Why the hell didn't I fight harder! I just want to die" she said crying even harder. Sarah pushed her away and held her by her shoulders and glared at her

"Serena Jayne Benson! I swear if you ever, and I mean ever say something like that again, I will kick your your little blond ass so fucking hard, that you won't even be able to think like that again! Do you fucking understand me?" she yelled at her. Serena looked up at her, wiped her eyes, and said

"want to go get a drink?"

Please Review.


	9. 9

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

Serena looked up at her, wiped her eyes, and said

"want to go get a drink?" Sarah's eyes got wide for a moment, before speaking

"um, if you want to" she asked a little bit shocked. She never expected Serena to ask her is she wanted to go get a drink, she always thought she would never take a drink.

"I guess things like this change people" she thought to herself. Serena smiled, then hugged her

"thanks Sarah, you don't know how much I need one right now." Sarah nodded, then they both got in the car a drove to the bar where Serena's car was.

"So how are you and James doing?" she asked singing along with Bob Dylan's Blowin'' in the wind. Serena looked down and mumbled something

"what was that?" she said still trying got sing along

"I said we broke up" she said quietly. Sarah's eyes got wide and she turned off the ape player and looked at her in shock

"oh my God Serena, what happened?" Serena shrugged and started to cry

"I told him about the rape, and he said it was all my fault, and then he kicked me out, and he said it was all my fault." Serena started to cry harder, and Sarah looked over at her

"oh sweetie, hes an ass hole, don't worry about it. You can find a much better guy then him"

"yeah, but I thought we we're going to be together forever, and then this happens and he breaks up with me, it isn't fair" she said through heavy sobs. Sarah looked over at her and almost started to cry herself. Serena was her best friend since before she could even remember. They went though everything together, the beginning of the hippie ages, the afros, and they held each other and cried together when the Beatles broke up, she hated seeing her like this.

"Serena, you got to remember, James is an over conceded Moran who thinks the whole world revolves around him and he can't get over the fact that it doesn't, so it isn't your fault, and if he can't see what a happening girl you are, then theres something wrong with him." Serena wiped away her tears and smiled at her

"thanks Sarah, your the best"

"I know, don't have to remind me" she said smiling and flipping her long brown hair back. Serena turned the tape player and they rode in comfortable silence until they got to the bar.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sarah asked turning off the car. Serena looked at her weirdly

"yeah, why wouldn't I be" Sarah shrugged, and they both got out of the car. They walked in and took a seat at the counter.

"What can I get for you two?" the bartender said coming over to them

"I'll have a vodka on rocks" Sarah said

"Oh, never had that before, I'll have that too." The bartender nodded then went off to get there drinks.

"Wow, second day of drinking and are ready on the hard stuff" Sarah said looking at her in surprise. Serena shrugged, then looked around the bar. It wasn't that crowded like it was last night, but it was still packed. She looked around some more, then saw someone. He had brown hair, tan skin, and brown eyes.

"Oh my god, not again" she thought to herself fearfully. She was about to get up and run out, then she remembered what the counselor said, for a few moths, every man will look like your rapist. But this guy really looked like him.

"Here you go ladies" the bartender said putting there drinks in front of them. Serena looked at him

"thanks." She turned back to see more of the man, but he was gone

"weird" she thought to herself. She took a sip of her drink and then looked at Sarah

"damn Vodka is good! I think this is my new favorite drink." Sarah smiled at her and rolled her eyes

"trust me, there are a lot more drinks then Vodka." Serena shrugged and took another drink of her drink. Just then, guy about eighteen walked in the bar

"Hey party people, whats going on!" he yelled out loudly. Serena smiled and Sarah groaned and rolled her eyes. The person was one of Serena's good friends, and he always hung out with her and her group of her friends, mainly to get closer to Sarah. It was no surprise that he had a major crush on her. Sarah didn't like him that much though. He thought he was the best song writer ever, but no one agreed with him.

"Hey Brian" Serena said smiling

"hey Rena, hello my love slave" he said taking a seat next to Sarah.

"get away from me" she said giving him a half glare.

"feisty today aren't we?" he said in a sexy voice

"like I said before, get away from me."

"one day, one day you will come crawling to me to love you." Sarah scoffed, then took another drink

"yeah, I'll come crawling to you, if both my legs are broken"

"I love your fake attitude, it almost seems like you don't want me around or something." Sarah just looked at him for a moment before taking a sip of her drink

"it's too easy" she said to Serena. Serena laughed and smiled, then finished her drink. I'll take another Vodka please" she said to the bartender. He nodded then got her another glass of vodka

"um, could I have it in a bottle please?" The bartender nodded again, poured out the glass, and gave Serena a large bottle of Vodka.

"Damn, when did you turn into a drinking machine?" Brian said looking at Serena. Serena looked down, and mumbled something

"what was that?" Brian said purposely leaning over Sarah.

"First off get off me, and second, she said she didn't want to talk about it." Brian nodded then ordered a beer. Sarah drank up her vodka and then called over the bartender

"a margarita please?" He nodded ten went to make her drink. Meanwhile, Brian got out a small note book he always carried with him

"margarita, margarita. How can I make a song out of that? Oh I got it. He scribbled s few things down, then handed it to Sarah

"will you please read this my dear?" Sarah rolled her eyes and took the notebook

"margaritaville? what the hell kind of a song is this? Trust me, no one will ever listen to a song called margaritaville."

"Another bottle please" Serena said a little bit drunk. Sarah looked at he friend in concern

"um, are you sure? after all, this is only your second day of heavy drinking, and you are ready had a bottle, of vodka, I think that you should just get a glass. Serena looked at her

"I'll order whatever I want, and I want a bottle of vodka." Brian and Sarah looked at each other, then at Serena, who was chugging it down

"Rena, whats wrong, you never drank like this before" Brian said in concern

"I'm fine all right, god, why can't people just leave me alone!" she yelled at him. Brian's eyes got wide

"easy there killer. It's just, well, I never saw you drink two whole bottles of vodka, ever. Hell, I never even saw you drink anything before."

"Why the hell can't you just leave me alone! God, why can't I drink without people breathing down my neck!" Brian looked at her, and took the bottle away from her

"give it back you ass hole!" she yelled loudly. Brian pulled it out of her reach

"no, not until you tell me whats wrong."

"Brian don't" Sarah said sternly. Serena glared at him

"fine, you wan to now whats fucking wrong! all right I'll tell you. Two nights ago, I was raped okay, there are you happy now" she yelled at him. Brian just stood there and Serena started crying

"Rena, I didn-, I didn't know. I'm sorry" he said going over to hug her. Serena stepped back

"stay away from me" she said getting a low angry tone. He nodded, gave the bottle to Sarah and walked out. Serena went back to her stool, and took the bottle from Sarah and sat down, unaware of the scene she just caused. She quickly finished the bottle in one big chug, and ordered another bottle.

"Um Serena, you know that tomorrow we have class right? and you also have a final to retake because you missed it today." Serena took a big drink and looked at her

"Well sorry if I was in the hospital" she said slurring. Sarah sighed, finished up her drink and pulled out a few bills

"come on Serena, I got to get home, and I'm your ride home. We'll have to get your car tomorrow" she said looking down. Serena looked at her, and finished off her bottle.

"You can go, I'm staying"

"I'm your ride home"

"I'll get another one" Sarah sighed, hung her head, and payed for her drinks. She went over to Serena, and gave her a hug, and whispered in her ear

"this isn't the answer, it won't help you get over it." She released the hug and then left leaving Serena with silent tears streaming down her face.

Please review


	10. 10

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

A/N this chapter contains the N word

"This isn't the answer, it won't help you get over it." She released the hug and then left leaving Serena with silent tears streaming down her face.

Sarah wait" Serena said as Sarah was going out the door. Sarah turned around and looked at her

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just a little"

"Serena it's okay, you don't have to explain" Sarah said cutting her off. She nodded then got up

"hey whos gonna pay for all the drinks vodka lady had?" the bartender said crossing his arms. Sarah went up to the counter and gave him a twenty.

"Keep the change" she said heading back over to Serena. They both went out side and then they looked at each other.

"Ready to go?" Sarah asked getting out her keys.

"No, I want to have a few more drinks. Theres a bar near by that I heard from some one that has a really good long tea" Serena said drunkingly.

"No offense Serena but, its only your second night of drinking, are you sure you really want a long island ice tea?"

"yes. And what are you saying, that I can't hold my liquor?" Serena said stumbling.

"Yes, thats exactly what I'm saying" Sarah said crossing her arms. Serena glared at her

"well, your a little hippie, and not even Kennedy would fuck you."

"any one ever tell you your really mean when you drink?"

"no, and so what if I am. I have every right to be."

"look Serena, I know that what you went though was horrible, but-"

"but what? what if your going to tell me something you should just say it. And frankly you have no right to tell me what to do, and your just a big stupid bitch, so there" she added. Then she passed out.

"Oh my god Serena" Sarah cried out trying to catch her before she hit the floor, she didn't. Sarah bent down to lift her, but she couldn't.

"What the hell happened?" Brian said pulling up and getting out of his car

"what the hell do you want?" Sarah asked angrily. Brian smiled then went over to her.

"Besides you, I want to help Rena. Now I'll ask you again, what happened?"

"I don't need any help" Serena said still on the floor. Brian looked at Sarah who mouthed drunk.

"Well, I was lyeing on the ground, drunk, I would like some help." Brian said looking down at her

"leave me alone" she said still on the ground, her drunken voice mumbled because of the ground.

"All right" Brian said and began to walk away, but Sarah grabbed his arm and glared at him.

"Help me" she said moctioning to Serena

"she said she didn't want to be helped"

"she does, she just doesn't know it." Brian looked Sarah up and down

"what will you give me if I do help her?" Sarah glared at him

"how about I don't kick your ass, and you know that I can, so just help me please"

"fair enough." Brian bent down and scooped her up

"no let me go" Serena mumbled

"sorry Rena, no can do." Serena groaned and then passed out again. Brian laid her down on his back seat and shut the door. Then he turned to Sarah

"Can I offer you a ride stranger" he said opening his passenger door.

"I'd rather get an afro. Drive her home safe" then Sarah got in her car and drove off. Brian shock his head and got in the car and drove off. In the back Serena started groaning again

"no, no stop" she mumbled. Brian pulled over on the side of the rode and looked back at her

"hurry up, just don't puke in the car, I just got it cleaned." But Serena didn't get up. Instead, she just started thrashing around

"no, please, stop ow, no please" she said thrashing even more.

"Holy shit" he said getting out of the car and going to the back seat and opened the door.

"Rena, Rena wake up" he said shaking her awake. Serena fought against him, but he grabbed her arms

"no let go of me!" she yelled still fighting him.

"wake up" he yelled giving her one quick slap across the face. Serena botled up and looked around.

"Whats going on? she said pulling out of his grasp and going to the other end of the side of the car.

"You passed out, then woke up, then passed out again, then you started screaming and moving around. I woke you up though" he added with a small sense of pride in his voice. She looked confused for a second then pushed him out of the way and got out of the car. Brian looked away to give her some privacy

"had one two many did ya?" he said as she got up and wiped her mouth

"shut up" she said sitting down on the ground. She felt tears in her eyes and wiped them away

"don't cry, crying just make you weak" she told herself. she wiped them away then stood up. Brian was looking at her kindly

"are you okay Rena?" he asked kindly

"I'm fine just take me home" she said getting in the passenger side of the car. He nodded then also got in the car. They drove off with out speaking a word. Brian kept looking over at her

"You can't just keep this all bottled up inside you, one day its all just going to explode like the H bomb, and it won't be pretty" he said suddenly.

"I'm not keeping it bottled up. In fact, I'm useing the bottle to help me she said not looking at him

"not funny Rena" he said sternly.

"I'm just joking, look, I'm not going to flip out one day and lose it. I'm fine, and I don't need to talk about it" she said a little bit angrily. Brian rolled his eyes

"yes you will. Remember that one chick Kayla Stanza? how she was raped, and then one day in class, the teacher told us that she committed scuicide. Well turns out that she never got any help at all. And I don't want you to happen to you."

"Nothing is gonna happen, so will you please just shut up!" she yelled. She mumbled something

"um what?"

"I said let me out"

"but I promised Sarah I'd drive you home safely"

"I am home you idiot!" she yelled pointing out the window. Brian looked out the window and saw the college.

"Oh well, I'll walk you in" he said unbuckling his seat belt

"I'm fine" she said getting out of the car. She headed for the college and looked around

"it's the college, I'm perfectly safe." But she couldn't get the feeling of fear out of her.

"Calm down, it's fine. Just walk to the doors, you'll be fine." She looked around and walked for a second then broke out to a run. She ran to the doors and swung them open. Once inside she leaned against the door and breathed for a moment

"damn it get your self together Sernea." She stood there for a moment before she headed to the elevator. She rode up to her room and was thankful that there was no one else in there with her. When she got to her floor, she got out and then walked to her room and unlocked it. She saw that she had messages on her answering machine.

"You have two new messages" the robotic voice on the answering machine said

"Mrs Benson, this is the dean. You haven't been in any of your classes in two days, please come to see me tomorrow at nine a clock in the morning to talk about this, thank you." Serena groaned, she was the valedictorian, but she hated the dean. She deleted the message and played the other one.

"Hello Serena, this is your mother. Please give me a call, you haven't in such a long time. You probably won't even get this message because some nigger probably stole your phone. Oh well, if you do, witch I doubt, call me. Bye Serena." Serena rolled her eyes. Her mother and father were major bigots. Serena deleted that one to and laid down on her bed, but then she lifted her head suddenly

"I haven't told my mom yet. Do I have too? She'll probably just flip out and fuss over me" she thought to herself.

"Why the fuck did this have to happen to me!" she yelled out loudly. Her door opened and a girl stuck her head in.

"Are you okay, I heard yelling?"

"get the fuck out!" she yelled at the girl

"sorry" she said shutting the door behind her. Serena ran a worried hand through her hair, then got up and went to the mini fridge that was in her room. She opened it and looked through it, and smiled when she saw what she was looking for. A bottle of beer that Sarah had brought over last week when she visited. The dean was always checking Sarah's room, but since Serena was the valedictorian, she didn't check it as much, so Sarah sometimes brought beer over here and stored it in her fridge. Serena opened the bottle and took a long sip.

"Thats better" she said as she sat back down on her bed and drank the beer. After she finished it, she went back o the fridge but didn't find any more.

"Damn it" she said as she shut the door. She laid back on her bed and covered up.

"Why the hell did this happen to me. I didn't do anything to anyone. Well thats just it, I didn't do anything" she said to herself as she felt tears roll down her face again.

"No, I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry" but she felt more tears roll down

"damn him! Damn him and his whole family! Damn him, damn his parents, damn all of his little devil children!" she thought to herself. Then she fell asleep thinking the same thought over and over. Damn him, damn his parents, and damn his children. All of his children.

Please review


	11. 11

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

A/N This chapter insults African Americans, and Arabs. If anyone is offended by that, then I'm truly sorry. And I'm not prejudges, in fact my Boyfriend is black(and incredibly sweet if I may add)

Then she fell asleep thinking the same thought over and over. Damn him, damn his parents, and damn his children. All of his children. She quickly fell asleep after that, but like she has done for the last few nights, she woke up because of the nightmares. At five thirty in the morning, she woke up screaming and looked around the room.

"Just a dream, nothing but a dream" she told herself, but she couldn't help but sense that something was wrong. She got up and put her hand to her head and groaned.

"God damn hangovers" she said as she got a couple of aspirin out of her purse. She suddenly felt sick and ran to the bathroom.

"I hate hangovers" she said as she emerged from the bathroom sucking on a breath mint. She heard a knock on the door and went to answer it.

"Serena, how good to see you again" the principal said to her stepping in the small dorm room.

"I thought I was supposed to see you at nine a clock today, and instead it's five thirty"

"yes well, your neighbor heard you screaming all night, and so when he called me, I decided to have a look. And it looks like everything is in order, so why were you screaming?"

"nightmare" she said looking down. That was a bit of an understatement. She had dreamed all night, that he was going to haunt her forever, and she'll never get away from him, but she didn't want to tell her that.

"So anyway whats wrong" she said yawning

"whats wrong is you have not been to any of your classes in two days, thats whats wrong. You will lose your valedictorian standing if you miss any more classes"

"I had a rough week" she said tiredly.

"That is no excuse, many other students have had rough weeks, but you do not see them skipping two whole days of classes. Your lucky your one of the smartest students here, because anyone else would have been thrown out. " Serena nodded

"has any other student here been raped" she mumbled to her self.

"What was that?" the principal asked her

"nothing" she said looking down

"your lying to me Serena, I heard you say something."

"maybe you need your ears checked" she was temped to say, but what did come out was this

"I'm sorry, I just haven't been myself lately" she said looking down. The principal glared at her

"I don't care if your Bob Dylan, you have no right to skip two days of classes, and if you do it again, I will personally see that you are kicked out of this establishment for good. Todays Saturday, so you have no classes, but come Monday, you will be in all of your classes, then during your lunch hour, you will make up the work that you've missed, and frankly I don't care who you are that day, do you understand me."

"Yes" she said hating her more then anything. She nodded then left the room. Serena closed the door behind her

"god damn stupid bitch" she said out loud. She flopped down on the bed and sighed.

"Why does this have to happen to me. Why couldn't it happen to someone else, I hate life." She sighed then pulled the covers over her, then she heard a knock on the door

"go away" she yelled loudly, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"Serena open the door please" the voice that she hated for so long, her mother. She groaned then got up.

" I'm asleep and sick go away"

"I'm not going to go away, I just went though two groups of Negro towns to get here, now open the door, before one of them comes and robs me." Serena groaned loudly, then opened the door.

"What do you want mom" she said stifling a yawn.

"You never called me last night, why not, were you mobbed by one of those coloreds?"

"no mom. But I never call you, so why are you here?"

"I asked you to call me when you got home, and you didn't so I assumed the worse, and drove down here." Serena groaned then went back to her bed and flopped down on it.

"No no, get up" her mother said going over to her and shaking her.

"Mother, it's five a clock in the morning, on a Saturday. Anyone that is up this early is either crazy or insomniacs. Now, go tour the city until at least nine thirty, and then go home" she said, her voice muffled by the pillow. It wasn't like she didn't like her mother, its just that she didn't exactly love her choice of morals. Her mom hated blacks, and any other people that weren't white, and Serena had a close friend that was black.

"Are you joking Serena, I came here to see you. I'm not going to leave, just because your tired."

"fine then, make a very long breakfast until about nine, then wake me up, I like my eggs scrambled."

"fine, fine. I'll just sit here, bored, and alone, because you stayed up all night."

"you do that" Serena said yawning. Then she fell asleep. A few hours later, Serena woke up again, this time without a headache.

"Thank god the hangovers done with" she thought to herself as she sat up. But then she suddenly felt sick, and ran to the bathroom.

"Serena dear are you okay?" her mother called after her, but she didn't answer.

"If the hangovers gone, then why am I still sick?" she wondered to herself.

"Dear are you okay?"

"I'm fine" she said sitting down at the table with a small mint in her mouth.

"Well good, I made us bacon, eggs, and toast. I hope thats to your liking?"

"yeah thanks" she said getting up to get some orange juice. After she got her juice, she sat back down with a plate of breakfast, whale her mom read the newspaper The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes before her mother spoke

"so how are you and James doing?" she asked looking up from the paper. Her mother liked James a lot, and was constantly telling Serena what a good, wholesome, white guy he was, and if she told her mother that they broke up, she would get really angry. Serena looked down at her plate and didn't look back up and she mumbled something

"I'm sorry dear what was that?"

"I said, we um, broke up" she said quickly ticking a sip of her orange juice.

"You what? Serena why would you do that, he was the perfect guy for you, and you just throw it away! Whats wrong with you!"

"He broke up with me!" Serena said angrilly

"well he wouldn't have if it hadn't of been a good reason, so what did you do so that he broke up with you?"

"I did nothing" she said angrilly standing up.

"Bull, you probably cheated on him or some other idea that you no doubt got from watching some black TV show!"

"I never cheated on him, it wasn't my fault" she said with hot tears running down her face. Serena's mother angrilly stood up.

"What do you mean it wasn't your fault, if you cheated on him, then it was your fault! I taught you to always respect your white boyfriends, and you go and cheat on him! That is not what I taught you!" Serena looked at her mother with a glare on her face, and more tears running down her face.

"I said no! but he didn't listen! I didn't want to cheat on him, but he made me do it!"

"Serena what are you talking about?" her mother said, her expression softening.

"I was raped mom. Thats why James broke up with me, he said it was my fault, and then he said I was a little slut, and he told me he never wanted to see my whoring face again." Serena sat back down on at the table and began sobbing. Her mother just stood there for a second.

"Who did it?" she said with tears forming in her own eyes. Out of her three kids, Serena was the youngest, and she had the highest expectations for her, and she cared for her the most. Serena wiped away some of her tears, just to have more come.

"I'm not Rena, I didn't know him"

"what did he look like?"

"Brown hair, really tan, had a small Arab accent." Her mother shock her head

"god damn Arabs" she said under her breath. Serena sniffed and wiped her tears.

"What did his eyes look like" she said gently. Serena looked up at her

"I can't remember" she said softly. That was a lie, she did remember the eyes more then anything, but she hated them. Every time she closed her eyes, she would see them, the cold dark look. How they looked like they were hell and demons all wrapped in one. Serena started crying again, and her mother went up over to her and hugged her.

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm here for you" she said stroking her hair like she did when Serena was a child. Serena just laid her head against her mothers shoulder with slow tears running down her face.

"Well, at least theres one thing good about the aftermath of this, I never have to see his eyes again." She didn't know how wrong she was.

Please review


	12. 12

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

A/N sorry for the long update. And I wasn't born in he 70s, so I don't know anything about how they did IDs, or any things they did involving cases back then, so forgive me if I get it all wrong.

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm here for you" she said stroking her hair like she did when Serena was a child. Serena just laid her head against her mothers shoulder with slow tears running down her face.

"Well, at least theres one thing good about the aftermath of this, I never have to see his eyes again." She didn't know how wrong she was. Serena sniffed, then picked her head up and looked at her mother

"so are you mad?"She asked her mother

"no, I'm not mad at you at all. It wasn't your fault. I just wished you would have told me sooner."

"I'm sorry" Serena said sympathetically. Her mother smiled at her

"it's okay Rena. Can I ask you one thing though, how are you handling this"

"good" she said looking down. She didn't want to tell her mother about the three day drinking binges, she knew she would be disappointed in her, and she hated when her mother was disappointed. They just sat there for a few more minutes, before Sarah came in.

"Hello Sarah" her mother said smiling at her. She had always liked Sarah, and Sarah always liked her.

"Hey Laurie, whats happening?" Sarah asked going over to the table, and offering Serena comforting smile.

Not much, how are you doing?" Sarah shrugged, then looked at Serena

"so how are you doing?" she asked in a kind voice. Serena just shrugged, then got up to get something to drink. Sarah shock her head, then turned to Serena's mother

"So what are you doing here so early?"

"nothing, just wanted to see my daughter. What are you doing up so early?" Sarah just shrugged

"I decided to get another paint job on my car, it needs a new one."

"Oh my god Sarah, your car has had about twenty other paint jobs, why don't you just get it rainbow?" Serena said sitting back down with a cup of orange juice. Sarah just shrugged again

"you know what, thats not a bad idea. Thanks for the suggestion." Serena rolled her eyes, then turned to her mother, but was interrupted by the phone ringing.

"I'll get it" Sarah said rushing over to the phone. Her phone service has been cut off, and she had started giving out numbers to Serena's phone instead. She didn't mind that much, except when she got calls at one a clock in the morning.

"Hello, Serena Benson's room" Sarah said in a seductive voice that made Serena laugh, and her mother roll her eyes.

"Uh yeah hang on a sec" she said putting down the phone and turning to Serena

"its for you, its some detective named Frank, says he has a lead on your case." Serena jumped up and ran to the phone.

"Hello" she said eagerly into the phone

"hi Serena, this is detective Stabler at the 1-6, we have a suspect in your case. I would appreciate it if you could come down to the station to make an ID."

"Sure, I'll be right down." Serena hung up the phone and looked at Sarah and her mom who was looking at Serena

"well whats going on?" Sarah asked eagerly. Serena smiled at her

"they got a suspect" she said happily. Sarah jumped up and hugged her.

"It'll all be okay, it'll all be okay" she whispered to her. Serena closed her eyes and smiled. They released the hug and Serena smiled at her

"want to give me a ride?" she said hopefully.

"Sure, I know how much you love riding in my baby."

"Well, I guess, I'll just sit here until you get back" her mother sighed sighing a big sigh.

"Do you really want to come?" Serena asked a little bit surprised

"yes, believe me, I want to find the bastard as much as you two do." Serena smiled at her

"well then get your coat and lets go." Her mother jumped up and ran to the door with the rest of them. They got in the elevator, and rode down to the ground floor, where Serena's mom saw Sarah's "baby" for the first time.

"Oh my, is um, that your car?" her mother asked a little bit appalled. But Sarah decided to ignore the commit, or she just didn't hear it.

"Yup, thats my baby, over fifty thousand dollars yall be riding in" Sarah said happily. They got in the car and Sarah started the car, and rove ff.

"I can't believe they got a suspect that fast, I mean, usually you have to wait at lease two weeks until you get called in to do a line up" Serena said happily.

"Well, your a lucky girl. And who knows, you may be just knock knock knocking on heavens door"

"What, that made no sense"

"I know, but I love thats song." Sarah said smiling. Serena and her mother laughed. Serena smiled at nothing in particular

"For once this week, something is going right. After this, I'll never have another drink again, I swear to god, no more alcohol for me" she thought to herself looking out the window smiling. Sarah turned on the radio, and Rolling stone by Bob Dylan came on

"Oh I love this song!" Sarah said loudly turning the radio up. Serena rolled her eyes, Sarah was obsessed with anything to do with Bob Dylan. She sighed, then looked out the window.

"Thank God this is almost over" she thought to herself sighing again.

"Why did this have to be over, why the hell did it have to start to begin with. I hate my life" Just then, Serena just started to cry. Sarah looked over at her

"Rena whats wrong?" she asked kindly

"I don't know" she said though heavy sobbing.

I just want this to be over!" she yelled.

"Baby, it'll be over soon. Just hold tight" her mother said placing a kind hand on her daughters shoulder. Serena nodded, took a shaky breath, wiped her eyes, and didn't say another word the rest of the way to the precinct. When they got there, Sarah parked the car, and They all went inside. Serena took a deep breath and looked around, and walked up to Frank who was talking with a pregnant women around his age.

"Excuse me detective Stabler, you asked me to come down?" Serena said interrupting the conversation. Frank turned around and smiled at Serena.

"Hello, thank you for coming down. I'd really like to-" but then he stopped.

"Um, who are these people?" he asked pointing towards Sarah and Serena's mother.

"Oh this is my best friend and my mother. Why whats wrong?" she asked seeing the nervous look on his face.

"Well, you weren't supposed to bring any one with you, for security reasons." Serena nodded, then turned towards Sarah and her mother, then back at Frank

"could you store them in an interrogation room or something" she said hopefully. she had see enough cop shows to know that it was illegal to have them in the ID room with her, but she really wanted them there. Frank smiled a kind smile at her, that made his light blue eyes look even more kinder then they are ready were

"sure. Detective Cragen" he yelled out to his partner, who was busy checking his afro in one of the computer screens.

'What" he said going over to him

"can you please place these two women in interrogation room one, and are you losing a little bit on top" he said noticing that his normally big afro, was growing smaller by the day.

"No, it's just your imagination, I'll never lose my hair" he said leading Sarah and Serena's mother into one of the rooms. The pregnant women smiled at Frank

"well, I'll be going now. I'll see you tonight, and good luck" she said smiling at Serena. Serena smiled back, and then the women left.

"So who was that? Serena asked being led into one of the rooms.

"My wife, she just stopped by to tell me that my new child is a boy."

"Wow, congratulations" she said smiling at him.

"Thanks, We were going to name him Ellie if it was a girl, but we decided on Elliot if it was going to be a boy, so I guess it's going to be Elliot." Serena just smiled politely. She wasn't used to people she met only once telling her about details like that.

"So anyway, about the ID, just stay calm, ake your time, and remember that they can't hurt you. So are you ready?" Serena was kind of taken back. She didn't think that as soon as she got there, she would have to do it.

"Oh um yeah" she said taking a shaky breath. Frank smiled at her, then led her to another room, with a curtain over a two way mirror, and a pretty blond women about thirty, and a women with short red hair, a little older then the blond

"Serena this is Jamie Novack, our ADA" he said pointing to the red head.

"hello" Serena said shakily

"hi" Jamie said smiling at her. Frank turned to the blond,

" Detective Stabler" she said nodding

"Mrs Cabot" he said leading Serena to the front of the room.

"Now just take your time, and remember, they can't hurt you"

"no coaching detective" the blond said with out emotion.

"Pay no attention to the blond bimbo" he said glaring at the lawyer. She glared right back, then they both faced there attention to the window.

"Are you ready?" he asked gently. Serena nodded, then took a deep breath as the detective uncovered the window. Serena took a deep breath then looked at the people behind the mirror.

"They, they all look the same. Is this some kind of trick?" she asked the Frank

"I can only ask you witch one you recognize." Serena took a deep breath, then scanned the men in front of her. She looked for what seemed forever, until her gaze fell on number four. He had dark brown hair, and tan skin, and deep chocolate brown eyes.

"Is it him?" she wondered to herself. She took a closer look at his eyes. They were nervous and darting around, as if something was in the corner.

"His eyes were cold and unforgiving, and" but she couldn't place a word for them as she thought to herself.

"That can't be him, hes not there" she thought to herself, tears threatening to fall

"Hes not there" she said in a whisper that usually meant tears were near by.

"Are you sure?" the detective asked eagerly. Serena nodded, then ran out of the room, crying.

"Rena whats wrong?" Sarah asked sitting at one of the detectives desk. Serena couldn't talk, instead she just ran to her mother and hugged her

"he wasn't there, he wasn't there" she said though heavy sobs.

"Its okay, its okay" her mother whispered to her stroking her hair.

"I'm so sorry Serena, we thought we had him" Frank said sympathetically.

"Well you didn't did you" Sarah said angrilly.

"Come on Rena, lets go" she said putting a comforting hand on her back and leading her out. Serena sniffed, then released her mother, then started to walk out, but not before hearing the words

"its a cold case" whispered by detective Stabler. She sniffed, then spotted a large bottle of Rum on Detective Cragens desk. Her mother was so busy wiping away her own tears, and Sarah was in front of her, so none of them noticed Serena take the bottle, then stuff it in her shirt.

"I'm going to need this for later" she told herself, are ready feeling the numbing effects of the alcohol.

Please review


	13. 13

I don't own the SVU character's. Only the original one's.

A/N Sorry for the longwait to update. I've been busy moveing, and getting to adjust from small town liveing with 500 people in my town, to big city life with 5000 in my city. God I miss NY. Also, I've never been pregnant, so I don't know how long pregnant women have to wait until morning sickness, So just bare with me all right.

"I'm going to need this for later" she told herself, are ready feeling the numbing effects of the alcohol. The three women walked out of the precinct, in uncomfortable silence.

"Are you okay?" Sarah asked quietly when they were outside. Serena just shrugged, hiding the rum bottle.

"They um, they didn't get him. Its all right" Serena said holding back tears. Sarah nodded then hugged her

"it'll be okay, I promise" she whispered in her ear

"don't make promises you can't keep" Serena whispered back. They broke the hug, and they both heard her mom sniff. They both turned around, and Serena hugged her mom.

"I'm sorry baby, I really am" her mother said with tears in her eyes,

"It's okay mom, they just didn't get him this time." Her mother sniffed then they released the hug.

"Do you want to go home now. Come on, I'll drive you." Serena looked down

"um actually mom, I was just wondering if you could go home. Its just that, well." Her mother nodded

"its okay, I understand" she said trying to hide the tears from coming. They hugged again, then she hailed a cab, then they drove off. Now it was just Serena and Sarah in uncomfortable silence.

"So, you wanna go home? Come on, I got a galleon of Death by Chocolate ice cream, and a few good chick flicks with our name on it?" Sarah said softly. Serena just shrugged, then sniffed. They got in Sarah's car, and drove for a while in complete silence, before Serena realized something

"Hey um Sarah? Could you stop for a second?"

"why whats up?" Sarah said concerned

"just pull over, pull over!" she said trying to keep the sickness down. Sarah pulled over her car, and Serena opened the door, and Sarah turned away to give her some privacy.

"You okay?" Sarah asked when Serena was done.

"I- I don't know. I mean, I hardly had anything to eat today, and I feel fine. But I'm just-" she quickly opened the door again and Sarah turned away again.

"your uh just what?"

"I'm just puking. I don't know why."

'Hmm, maybe you got the flu?"

"Its May Sarah, you can't get the flu in May. And another thing. You know how every month I always get, you know, it, on the twentieth? Well its the twenty second, and not one drop of blood."

"Uh, maybe after something like what happened to you it stops for a while?" Sarah said starting the car again

"but thats the thing!" Serena said a little nervously.

"Every single month since I was twelve, I've gotten it on the twentieth. And I've never been a day late, and Its never stopped when I had sex before, so why is it doing it now?" Sarah just shrugged then drove on, whale Serena looked out the window and thought to herself.

"What the hell is wrong with me? First I feel sicker then a dog, and now I'm two days late. This can't be good. Maybe It's because I drank a lot this week, or maybe I'm just an early ender, or maybe-" but then she realized something.

'Oh my God" she said out loud

"do you need me to stop again?" Sarah said slowing down.

"No, no. I- I just think I know whats wrong with me."

"What, what is it?" Sarah asked eagerly.

"Just drive me to the nearest free clinic" she said holding back tears.

"Why whats going on?"

"please Sarah, just do it" Serena said hoping to god she was wrong about what she was thinking. Sarah just shrugged then turned a corner and down to the free clinic. It was in a bad part of town, so Sarah was really reluctant about leaving her car on the street when they got to the clinic.

"It'll be fine Sarah, if you want, you can stay out here and wait with it."

"Are you kidding me! Do you know how many God damn Hippies like to attack people? No I'm coming in with you, but I'm locking the car." Sarah reluctantly got out of the car, and locked it, doing it twice, witch got a eye roll out of Serena.

"Would you come on!" she sad after Sarah locked it for the third time.

"Whoa whats your problem?" Sarah said walking over to her.

"I just wanna get this over with" Serena said holding back tears

"get what over with?" Sarah said following her into the clinic. Serena turned to her with tears in her eyes

"I, I think I'm pregnant."

Please review


End file.
